Last week I received an Email from a friend. We had been friends for many years, studied the teachings of the Church together, and in short, supported each other through good times and hard times. My friend was a daily Mass goer until she started to work.  She is a mother of four children, and all attended a Catholic School.  The two older boys were altar servers.

Then she decided to earn some extra money, started to look for a job, which in fact she found and it was a well paid.  All of a sudden there was no time for Mass, even Sunday Mass became a burden and soon that was also on the "too busy" list.  I remember I urged her to attend Sunday Mass, but she replied she had free will and this was her choice.

Twelve months later, there was enough money for a bigger house, another car etc.  Then one day the husband left.  As can be imagined, total devastation and confusion on my friends part.  The two older boys left home and one of them moved in with a girl (these were the very ones who had served at the Altar of the Lord with the grace of innocence).  I more or less lost touch with her from that time on, apart from an Email every now and then.

Four weeks ago I received an Email from her and she told me how happy she was with a new "partner" and how he understood her and supported her.  This was my firend, what was I going to write back?  I could not tell her how happy I was for her, because this was adultery she was talking about, and obviously, she wanted me to condone and congratulate her on her new life.

At the cost of losing touch with her altogether I debated whether I should tell her the Truth and ignore the bit about adultery.  Truth won.

This is what I wrote


I realize that I might not hear from you again.  Not because you don't believe what I tell you, but precisely because you do believe it.
If tell you anything that differs from truth, if I tell you what you want to hear I would be a hypocrite, and I would be telling you something I do not believe myself.
I do not call that true friendship.  If I care about someone, I want the highest good for that someone, and that highest good is heaven.

You once told me that you have  free will, (which is called "freedom"), that is true.  But freedom is not what you do, freedom is being able "to do".  It all depends on what you do with this freedom.  We have the ability to do anything, good or bad.  But we only have the right to do good or better.  We never have the right to use our freedom to sin.

We have a secular law which instructs us from the outside, like driving according to the speed limit.   But God said: "Deep within them I will write my Law on their heart".
The Law of God instructs us from within.  This is actually the Holy Spirit.  He instructs and moves us from the heart and this is a Supreme Law above any other law.
But He never forces us.

To be able to listen to Him clearly we have to be free of mortal sin, for mortal sin cuts us off from the grace of the Holy Spirit and makes us blind and deaf.  This blindness will not be removed unless we ask for this power of the Holy Spirit to make us see and hear.

Seeing and hearing comes from the heart for that is where the Love of God is, and if we love Him and our neighbor, and we desire the highest good for our neighbor, He will instruct us, and move us to do what is really obedience to God's Law. 

There is no way I am giving up on you, even if I do not hear from you again, I will always pray for you.

She did send me a  note back and asked me to keep praying for her.

This shows the destructive slide of a family where God is literaly cast aside.