I Want To Pray But,....Only When I feel Like it
Spontaneous prayer can bring us into contact with God. For example, when we hear some good news we might instinctively thank God for His kindness; or in time of great distress or personal crisis, we call upon God in desperation and ask His help; or we might occasionally be moved to prayer by a beautiful sunset or the majestic tones of an organ as we kneel in church.
This sort of payer that springs up from within is, of course, the exception and not the rule. If we prayed only when we felt moved to do so, then we would be very selfish people indeed. In the words of the "Imitation of Christ" we would be more interested in the "consolations" of God than in the God of consolations." Our religion is not based just on our emotional life or our moods. It is a service to God, entailing certain obligations. We must keep the commandments of God, and not just when we feel like it. We must worship God, and not just when we feel like it. And we must pray to God, regardless of our feelings. Our prayer is a service to be fulfilled out of obedience and faith. It must be willed and practiced.
If we have the attitude of "praying when I feel like it," we are really dictating our terms of worship to God and placing our will over His. This is as presumptuous as it is wrong. We depend on God for everything; and so we must acknowledge our debt to Him by worship and prayer. Prayer is as necessary to our life of faith, as breathing is to our physical life. Without prayer our faith weakens and dies.
Generally speaking, many people do not enjoy praying. Other things are much more attractive. But we pray and keep on praying, not because we feel like it, but because prayer is so vital to our lives as Christians and children of God. According to Our Blessed Lord, we "ought to pray continually, and never be discouraged" (Lk. 18-1)
We should not omit to say our morning and evening prayers just because we "don't feel like it." It is worth making the effort to overcome our laziness or fatigue by getting on our knees in prayer and humbly telling God how we want to love Him, how we want to pray, even though prayer might be the last thing we feel like doing at this particular time. God understands. And no doubt we will be surprised to find, when we stand before the judgment seat of God that the most valuable and meritorious moments of prayer during our life have been those occasions when we found it unpleasant or difficult to pray.
If we only prayed when we felt like it, God could undoubtedly see the selfishness lurking behind our petitions. But when we pray despite our feelings, whims and fancies and despite other obstacles and difficulties, then there is very little of "self" in our prayer.
If prayer is nothing else but a matter of saying words, of scrupulous and methodical study, then perhaps we could pray without anyone's help. But prayer is an encounter or a meeting with God. It is union with God, involving God's action as well as our feeble efforts. It is a supernatural activity, bringing us into communication with God, And for this, God's grace is necessary. "Nobody can come to me without being attracted towards me by the Father" (Jn. 6-44)
Without God's help we cannot pray; and we cannot go further than his grace enables us to go. If you want to pray, you will need help. Perhaps the advice of a confessor or priest outside the confessional; or maybe a book on prayer. But above all, you will need God's help and the assistance of His grace. You cannot go far if you approach prayer with the idea of gritting your teeth and saying prayers furiously in the belief that you can become a saint by your own efforts.
The first step in prayer must be that of falling down on your knees in humility while you acknowledge your helplessness and ask God for His assistance. From now until the day you die, your best prayer will be "Lord, teach us to pray".
Source: Fr. L. Watt.